Being single in Vancouver has been and still is a learning experience for me. The last time I was single social media wasn’t really a thing, and online dating such as tinder, bumble and match did not exist. You had to be authentic getting to know someone by calling them on the phone, taking them out to eat, not sending text messages and “liking pictures.” Call me an optimist, but old school ways of dating DOES exist somewhere in the universe.
These last 4 months of being single has caused me to do a lot of soul searching and create positive and negative habits. I write this post so women can relate and know its okay to fall down 10 times, “ugly cry”, drink a little to much, over analyze situation and laugh your face off. This is all apart of growing. As long as the “bad habits” are temporary and you set new goals to better yourself.
If someone would have asked me what I imagined my life to be in 2016, I would have said, happily married with two children, working as nutritionist/trainer, having my own studio and living a content life. WOW the only thing that was right is the career part (minus my own studio).
As I look at my friends a large amount of us our single. Some are divorced, some are separated, some were never married, some were cheated on and a few are in happy relationships. Is love really this hard to maintain or find? Are people always looking for the next best thing? Are people too jaded and guarded they cannot say how they really feel? Are people settling so they don’t have to be alone? This can all be quite puzzling to me.. what happened to simplicity?
I have felt lost on occasion, losing my partner, companion and best friend for 10 years, I sometimes wake up alone in my bed saying..”this is your life now…is this real life?” Healing takes time, loss takes time, moving on takes time. Everything takes time. On the other hand when I go out, travel, and experience new people and new places I smile to myself and say, “WOW this is living!”
It is only natural after a long-term relationship you search for someone of something to fill your void. Whether it be good for you or bad for you… you don’t feel like yourself. I didn’t understand or realize how important my friendships were. This time has allowed me to reconnect with old girlfriends and create strong, life lasting bonds. FINALLY I have come to the conclusion the sisterhood I have with my girlfriends is really what I need.
My girlfriends are my rocks, my biggest support system, and the people I choose to spend my time with. I was lacking this connection in my long-term relationship…I didn’t have balance. I was a “wifey” who stayed home on the weekends with my dogs as my partner went out and was social. Balance is something I struggle with sometimes, I either am all in or all out. I am a work in progress still growing each day as a human.
It can be hard being a single girl in Vancouver with people judging you and having opinions about the choices you make. Taking your social media out of context and interpreting in a negative way. At first this use to upset me, now I take it as water off my back. I cannot control what other people think of me…I know who I am and at the end of the day that is all that matters.
In life we learn from experiences, which are either blessings or lessons, both equally important. And although hurt and sad situations can make you feel as if the universe is being unfair…the universe is testing you and cultivating an internal strength.
I realize I can’t force myself to be something I am not. I have learnt to be selective who I share my energy with. It is important to maintain a certain standard and know your worth, regardless of how certain people can make you feel.
Being alone I understand I have the power of CHOICE. If something or someone is not serving me in a positive way I can dismiss it and let go. You have control of your LIFE and your HAPPINESS. You are the decision maker, and you hold your power, don’t ever forget that. I am well aware of what I bring to the table, as confident as that may sound, it took me awhile to get here….therefore I don’t have a problem eating alone. Don’t sacrifice who you are to fit in someone else’s jig saw puzzle with broken pieces.
To all the single women out there you need to EMBRACE this time. This is your opportunity to find yourself and be selfish. To do whatever the heck you want and learn more about who YOU ARE. To walk through life without regret, to follow your heart, and to live in the moment.
#Summer16 has by far been the most adventurous, sporadic, enjoyable summer in my life. When I am older I will look back at these summer nights, with a bottle of wine, a few good girlfriends and laugh our asses off! Laughter feeds the soul, it is by far the best therapy!
It is easier said then done, but I am trying my best to take everything negative, positive, painful & amazing, and use that as my driving force to create the best version of me.